Our group seem to have gone to their separate ways somehow.., each doing their own individual things. Only a handful is still on and going. Some are on the line. I can't blame, cos people change over time. But never to expect it to be such a huge change.

Actually I really been looking forward to the day but yet news comes, I felt kinda disappointed, sometime I should have been down few several time but I'm still able to keep going without anything wrong. Now isn't the time, then I felt like giving up sometimes.

Each day I felt very very tired. I no longer be able to see or hear you anymore, everything seems to fall apart suddenly, leaving me to pick up the pieces. Let me freeze the time in the past and stay there everyday.

The day close as to a few hours.., will God be on my side? or He wants me on my own?
I just wish He could bless me, I want it to be my one and the last one. If I were to fail a second time, I think it's time I should give up and be gone on my own.

I was played my my devil side asking me not to, my angel side was to weak to resist and to give in, causing me to lost many chance God gave me, I should was I was too over-confident at that point of time.

The appearance of a person may change the other party's thinking, maybe I was thinking too much or it is? who knows.

Everyone is concern about it telling me to give it a try, I was too scared, no confident and I know I might not be able to continue going. Why? I wonder.

True enough, I dare to say in my heart, she's one for me. Thinking again I may not be the one for her. We are on different level, with bright future and I was left in the slump, struggling to climb out of the pit.

She told me once about her. There are many thing in life that are unpredictable yet unexpectedly it happen to you, should you be able to take it and you got to have the courage to put it down, that's why there a period of time that she's very down. 2 years is a very long time. At that time I was thinking her story was like mine, as if I'm the guy in her story. I truly regret alot.

So I was saying no matter what I must have that bit more of courage to show her. It's that bit of confident I wanted so much to express myself. I shan't keep it in my heart anymore if not when I really lost it I will really regret it for life, like I did years before.

Okie this morning my bro came back from Japan haha and with alot of local products, a few shirts for me^^ one from Graniph.. I'll post some of the pic



Look a the bag of snacks and Japan traditional food!!



Then this are the souvenirs


haha then this are mine

Chewing gum and a samurai Keychain

Same without flash

More food..!

Seriously I don't what's this...



OKIE! that's all for today.., Going for facial! wohoo

The toughest thing to do is to miss the person you loved. Yet there are people out there that for granted.
They have gone throught so much together and yet one is childish another is stubborn.
Currently my mood is greatly affect by their action towards each other.
okie i don't wish to continue.., I need to calm down.

Maybe I was thinking too much. I can't always want the thing to be done in my way. Hmm I'm back to normal now, I'll see hows a day for tomorrow.

It's another new day, more plans and many worries. Share the same worries.
I gonna live it to the fullest.
Take care!!

It always happen at this point, it's really always. I don't how to overcome this kind of feelings. I don't what had happen so far. I read text from before, I use to think every little thing that we did was for a reason, either one of us will do the first move. I think I missed alot of it. Is there any chance for me? How I wish I could read your mind.

The thing I most fear is repeating again, mine high hopes seems to have dropped seems then.
So now I don't expect any good to happen.

In life we are always giving excuses not to try, to wait for things to happen.
in the end, we regret alot. Thinking why in the beginning we should have let this happen? often the wrong choice, well God closes a door but somewhere He open another.

Why wish for a miracle to happen? A lost hope doesn't mean the end, I was told not to give up. So i live everyday to the fullest, trying to stop moving is foolish enough, think of other solution. Options are the best choice if you're in a dilemma.

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I often sit back and reminisce, images of good things that happen before.
It felt great.

How much do I meant to you?
I wonder if I'm worthy to be with you sometimes.
But I still like you, or rather more then like.

At times I don't what I should do, I had confident but sometime it seems to drop. Why do i feel that way? Maybe I don't show much on how I feel but inside there is. Happy, worried, sad and tired. People don't know how I felt on certain things, words can be hurtful.

How taxing can it be? Sigh.., I should quote my day, "So near yet so far".
Sounds very gloomy right?

I'm really prepared for anything that's gonna happen.

I saw someone I shdn't see today, my mood totally changed, time to step ahead. I didn't want to speak up to you I acted the I didn't saw you.

When I board the train, I remember my aunty told me the world most beautiful thing is felt from the heart. Yes and surprisingly you msged me, and I'm back to normal, I guess?

But whatever, I just hope to see you soon. It sometime seems to felt that I didn't see you for ages.

sometime I find it difficult to accept myself, i wonder how I can come so far today to a person others will leave some impression. is it a good thing or a bad one?

Hmm alrite,

recently Fcukers gang for alot of internal problem surfaced one after another. Actually why not lose the bit of skin then to lose the years of friendship right? Then i think again some problem ain't that simple to tackle, or rather explain to the other party the reason why. Who is letting go and who's not.

In time like this, is really a test to our gang I guess, maybe we be together or in future we are just strangers to each other. As for now my bro MYRA! I can see she's trying her best to help out those in need, even though she got her own personal stuff to handle, now she's letting it all go away. Thanks bro^^

So I wouldn't dare to compare my problems to their, consider as mine is my own thinking, how I want it to be. So bro in our gang without you I dunno how we can go so far out together. I can say you're the center point in our group^^ more then a leader I can say.

So this is to you bro=) hope all the problem can be solved smoothly without anybody being badly hurt.

The day when I first saw you,
The day when I talk to you,
The day when I went out with you,
The day we had dinner together,
The day we walk home,
The day I saw you break down and cry
and the day I missed.

My heart is itching, I got so much I wanna to tell you..

May it be a memory but behind it is another painful experience, indeed a lesson learn. Let's forget and forward for life. Have a new start, new beginning and new tale to be written.

It felt weird
when we are closer
but we seem not to be together.
I still lack the courage.

Look how time flies and now its already the 2nd of march.., as each day goes by I started to realise that I not that person I used to think I'm in the past haha, funny isn't it, i used to think I those guys sittin in the void deck wasting life. Time changes a person.
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A feeling so close but the image isn't so as people are looking at us, yet if our heart don't think so then one day we can change the thinking of people. That we can make it out together.
I'm not him, I wouldn't want it to be another heartbreaking memory for you.

I think back and I saw myself grow up alot, now I'm thinking how my future is going to be like. Which path is suitable for me. Seeing you motivates me think ahead. Good luck everyone seeing this post!

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Gut feeling tell me that I correct. My mind stop me from saying the things I want, release all the courage to express, leaving the words stuck in my mouth. I wonder...