the day you went away, i pray for your safety. You might not be near by but i always kept you close to me. I never forget how we started, those were in loving memories. Honestly, i can't accept another relationship. I will give up until you have given up.

I tired to open my heart to people close to me, they never take me seriously. what i wanted they just made a fun out of it. Seriously i can't take this kind of things. I can take jokes for once or twice but more i find it hard to accept.

Because of what I've done, i made people around me feeling rather disappointed or worried. Example, i did a tattoo on my leg, but my family accept it. Who i loved in the past also made them feel disappointed, i cant find the reason why they are so? perhaps I'm to immature? thinking that i will cause trouble to them? if thats so i guess they can put a 99 hearts down. I know what i'm doing and will it affect me in future i know it well. I choose thing that suits me well.

Talking about relationship, i guess i have not given up on you thou. People tried to love me but i never accept, on the other hand it made me felt like a bad person, am i causing someone to be heartbroken? i didn't give them false hope and i did tell them before, love cant be forced but to be found. Sights give false image, but senses can never be wrong. It's a long period of time through understanding then you can almost realize how a person is like. It isn't a days job.

I also can find any girl on the street and say that I love you but what do think they will say? I can bet 9.5/10 of girls will give you a slap or a kick in your nuts. lmao. it's true. Don't count those that you know them cause they know you're joking.

But i get jealous of other people, to see how loving they are, how they cared about each other and how much they put through. I never really experience that before.

Life is stressful. . .
Because there is a thing called love.