If u need more love from someone... do love that someone more first...
Tree
===
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting
trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a
trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I
was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after
her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't
have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her
frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility.
Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary
like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are
together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's
gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine
ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last
reason, made her accompany me for 3 years.
She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for
3 years. She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding
director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was
embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day,
her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think
about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When
everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She
didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I
watch her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of
them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type
that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I
shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her
feelings and walked off with my girlfriend.
The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has
ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my
heart ache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After
going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She
told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told
her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know
whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very
cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has
been the talk of the school.
I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile &
congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I
can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't
breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down &
cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't
acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days
ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says
"Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask
her to stay"
Leaf
===
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt
that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it
takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close
terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his
1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt -
Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be described by using a lemon.
It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They
were only together for 2 mths. When they
broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got
together with another gal.
I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me?
Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he
had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was
hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like
he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do
for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his
likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out.
You can't expect me a gal to ask him right?
Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him,
accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love
me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to
send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for
me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to
go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I
continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3
years.
Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go
after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection
to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small
footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a
leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to
give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring
this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree,
but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree
didn't ask her to stay
Wind
====
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on
tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I
first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a
petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA
time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends
looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes.
When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her
became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't
explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was
also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw
my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next
day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and
smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She
looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared &
pass me a note and left.
Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away
It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never
want to leave tree
I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to
talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person
she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will
make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less
than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I
never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use
all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have
declared my love to her.
Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small
ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't
hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How
come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I
couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I
hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place
& press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I
hugged her tightly.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree
didn't ask her to stay.
It's ralli meaninful